It was the end of December when my friend from Sweden wanted to buy a specific gift for her boyfriend – a book on Tantric Sex! “What the hell is that now?” wondered my colleague when I mentioned the novel gift. I too was curious to know. Well, we didn’t have to hunt much. The attendant at the book bazaar in South Mumbai plonked half a dozen books on tantric sex in front of us. Our chatter even made a couple of students standing beside widely curious. Meanwhile, my friend chose the biggest book on tantric sex, heaved a sigh of relief, slipped it inside her bag and walked away – leaving behind the students and me with one question. What the hell is tantric sex after all?
Well, let’s take you from the basics. Tantra is a Sanskrit word which means ‘woven together.’ Hindu and Buddhist meditation practitioners use a sexual union as a metaphor for weaving together the physical and the spiritual – weaving man to woman, and humanity to the divine. The purpose is to become one with God.
We agree, the idea of tantric sex sounds unique, mysterious, interesting and might we say, quite pleasurable. After all, it is an ancient Eastern spiritual practice to expand consciousness and join together the polarities of masculine and feminine energy into a whole. But before you jump into bed hoping for some crazy yoga sex, we think you should rein in a bit. Gathering the right information and having an open mind is essential for understanding how tantric sex works.
The western form of this sacred sexuality called Tantra teaches slow, non-orgasmic sexual intercourse. But tantra is a deeper sexual experience. “Tantric sex is the ancient key to sexual pleasure and psychic power, attained through a set of rituals,” according to Ashley Thirleby, author of Tantra: The Key to Sexual Powers.
In fact, couples indulging in tantric sex, worship each other as embodiments of deities. Tantric approach to sex brings an attitude of reverence into lovemaking. It has far more to do with an individual’s mental approach than with technique or speed. Sexual intercourse is not the ultimate goal of tantric sex.
However, if you are a fan of intense and speedy intercourse, you might be put off by it. But there are many reasons why it works for so many across the globe.
– Using sexual energy consciously, one can tap into a true source of youth and vitality.
– Practicing tantric sex can enhance your relationship and sexual pleasure in several ways.
– Breathing deeply and maintaining eye contact creates intimacy. Reconnecting with each other can open your heart to feeling closer, more affectionate and forgiving.
Eyes are the windows to the soul. Look into each other’s eyes for a long time. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but continue looking into each other’s eyes deeply as long as it takes to become comfortable with the practice.
It is best if you develop a ritual for the same. A ritual can be as simple as sharing a glass of wine, cooking together and feeding each other delicious food, dancing, playing, and listening to music. Spending quality time together and communicating your needs clearly, sharing what you adore about each other creates intimacy and improves understanding, which further strengthens the relationship.
Here, the intention behind practising daily rituals is to make each partner feel cherished and loved. Isn’t that what matters after all?
No more boring nights. Time to express, say and try out new things. How about tantric sex for now?