By Bhakti Paun Sharma

The English have landed

This phrase caught quite some momentum in the 18th-century France, when the British army was waging a war on them. It was a funny and dark take on the colour of the English uniform, which was red, and later went on to become a phrase for menstruating women. Well, why not? After all, there is literally a war going on inside us during that time of the month; physically and emotionally, as every position becomes a struggle and not even the charms of hunky Bollywood dudes such as Vicky Kaushal and Siddharth Chaturvedi aka MC Sher can’t subside the discomfort. However, what if we tell you that there was one solution to overcome it all, and that lay in busting an age-old myth?



We are talking about orgasm, a simple and pleasurable way to get rid of that menstruation pain, and do that by shunning the shame and stigma that has been built around masturbation during menstruation. No need to fidget. Sit back, relax as our expert is going drop some juicy bombs for you.

The best way to go on about your body is to befriend it and learn to live with it in a loving manner. Acquaint yourself with your hormones which cause your periods and even lead to a sharp rise in sexual appetite! Masturbation during menstruation can not only sate that sexual urge but also help calm down those terrible cramps. To validate that, we’ve got you special inputs from our expert gynecologist Sulbha Arora Bijur.


Masturbation during periods is nothing to be ashamed of. Thus, there is no need for you to suppress those urges if you feel like as it has no adverse effects. On the other hand, it relaxes your body during its most tumultuous period (pun intended). In fact, did you know there is a link between masturbation and period cramps? Endorphins released during an orgasm accentuate the pleasure felt by the body. It thus works as a distraction and is more like a green signal on red alert days.


Fingering and using a sex toy are the techniques that are absolutely fine as long as you are enjoying it. If insertion causes discomfort, do away with it and try clitoral stimulation. Or even simpler – humping.

Humping is one of the best techniques to masturbate during periods. No mess, no extra washing and cleaning and no pre-prep required. Just get your favourite pillow or towel out and rub it off. A word of caution for those using menstrual cups – you might want to check and adjust the position of your cups after the act.


However, there are a few things that you should keep in mind while pleasuring yourself during the periods. Although there are low to nil chances of infection, still, make sure that your hands and even your sex toys are thoroughly washed and cleaned before and after the act, if you try insertion techniques. Also, even though a lubricant may not be needed, still, if you feel the need for some extra friction, use water-based lubricants.


So the next time you find someone frowning at the idea of a pleasure-full and pain-free period, tell them that it’s backed by experts.

This Maysturbation month, take a vow to befriend your hormones and break the rules. Remember:

When life gives you a menstruation, amp it up with masturbation.

Expert Speaks: Does masturbation affect a person’s virginity?

By Bhakti Paun Sharma

Masturbation, specifically female masturbation, is a territory less explored and mostly forbidden. As a result, there are many myths that cloud over the clear picture. One of the most common one, for instance, is whether one remains a virgin after masturbating. The question is really not surprising given the honour that is placed on a girl’s virginity in the Indian sub-continent. As the month of Maysturbation kicks off, we at She & You have decided to carry the baton of clearing the mist around the mast of pleasure; all with the help of experts.

So coming back to the topic. Let’s re-frame the question Will the hymen remain intact after masturbation? We consulted Sexologist and founder of Infinity Clinic, Delhi, Dr. Anuneet Sabharwal, MD Psychiatry and he had some interesting this to share with us on the matter.

Rest easy, women, for masturbation does not affect your hymen in anyway, if at all that matters much to you. Female masturbation, in most cases, targets the clitoris and not the vagina. Also, contrary to the popular opinion, the hymen doesn’t determine whether or not you are a virgin. You can have an intact hymen but not be a virgin. You can also be a virgin and yet have a torn hymen (by the introduction of a tampon, a finger, vigorous exercise, or an accident). So, if you need to know if your hymen is intact, get it examined.

Culturally, we have often attributed a symbolic value to virginity; and usually, it is the first sexual relationship that determines the end of it. Masturbation, therefore, has nothing to do with it. The hymen, a thin membrane attached to the walls of the vagina immediately behind the vaginal opening, is very different in shape, elasticity, and thickness, and also differs from one woman to another. Also, did you know that some girls are born without hymen?

There are numerous circumstances that may lead to the tearing of hymen and subsequent loss of virginity. In some women, it perforates more easily than others, according to the characteristics of their hymen (types of perforation, flexibility or rigidity, thickness). Regarding the insertion of a finger into the vagina (by a partner or by the woman herself), different scenarios are possible. The hymen can remain intact, be partially perforated, or more rarely, be torn. It can be accidentally torn during a fall or through vigorous exercise too. Sometimes the hymen is so elastic that it does not break even after several such episodes.

On the contrary, it can happen that certain sports activities, such as cycling or horseback riding, can lead to tearing of this membrane. Of course, the use of a tampon or masturbation can also cause it to break but are not the sole reasons. Hence, the rupture of hymen is merely a symbolic and cultural reference to virginity.

All being said and done, masturbation really has less to no connect with the loss of hymen and virginity. However, we are in the 21st century. It is high time we got off the horse of purity and virginity, and stopped considering sex a taboo or even a benchmark of a woman’s character. Women are much more than a mere stain on the bed sheet, post the wedding night.

#BreaktheHate! Just Masturbate

By Kadambari Srivastava

When ‘Veere Di Wedding’ hit the screen, it seemed like a harmless flick on friendship. But it got audiences screaming virtually all over at Swara Bhasker’s masturbation scene, which eventually reached orgasm on social media. It stirred controversies and got people sending her hate.

That saga did not end here. Recently, during the election fever, she was trolled by misogynistic morons with demeaning hashtags like #useyourfinerwisely and not like Swara Bhasker.

If a celebrity is subject to so much hatred for merely enacting masturbation (which by the way, is very healthy for women), what would happen if we simply speak about it in real life? Is it so wrong to pleasure oneself, especially when women are already deprived of orgasms when it comes to penetrative sex?

So we decided to give a finger – no, two fingers, to this unnecessary patriarchal atttiude. We are going to not just write this one piece on masturbation, but celebrate it!


In case you did not know, May is the International Masturbation Month, and we at She & You are ready to burst some balls, along with you. Educate, empower, and emerge, sans any shame, because your sexual desires and satisfaction are as important as a man’s, and you need not be ashamed of it. So we are here with the month of Maysturbation, and a lot of hot stories, just for you; ranging from educative to entertaining, we promise we will keep your fingers busy ;). Take notes, women, for loving yourself and worshipping your body is not against any culture; it has been made so because it hurts the minuscule egos of some.

Stats speak that nearly 7.9 per cent of women aged between 25 and 29 masturbate two to three times a week. As per yet another survey, 92 per cent of men and 62 per cent of women masturbate in their entire life. One of the major reasons for a lower reported rate for women is their reluctance to indulge in this topic, and also the ignorance around the same, given the huge taboo that women sexuality is. You’d be surprised to know that there are innumerable women who are unaware of the wonders their bodies behold. Sure enough, their fantasies take flight, whether in the heart of a city or in the remote rural corner. However, most of them include being moony-eyed around husbands who care less about their sexual desires, and turn around to snore after ‘planting the seed’ and satiating their own cores.


Let’s ask, why is society averse to masturbation, especially of women. The answer lies in the patriarchal culture which is steeped in the very roots of orthodox cultures. As a result, if women express a mere whiff of desire or demands pleasure during sex, she is frowned upon. She is supposed to be coy, for one moan or dirty mnemonics of pleasure, and she is labelled a prostitute (a highly sexist abuse in itself).

No more!

Let your hair loose and beat around the bush, for we are taking a leaf out of Swara’s book and leaving the stigma behind. Raise that finger and love yourself, because whether you believe it or not, you are worth it. Let’s bust all the myths around women masturbation and break the taboos around it. Let’s unlearn the shame and embrace the pleasure knots that unravel our senses. It’s the month of Maysturbation, and let’s play that #Masturstroke, bold and nice. Break the hate, just masturbate.