By Bhakti Paun Sharma
Durex recently conducted a survey, and the result of which stated that nearly 70% of women in India do not orgasm every time they have sex. The inequality of the situation was quite jarring and shocking. Forget that, the reactions to the results were even more discerning. While many men were shocked to find out that their women faked orgasms, a few were ignorant enough to state that women cannot have orgasms for they don’t need to ejaculate. What even!
The discussion around female orgasm has been painfully limited and horrifically exaggerated (in the adult film industry), leading to unrealistic expectations which almost always show a lasting man and a woman orgasmic multiple times. Add lack of sex education to this equation and you create a whole generation that is painfully unaware of its own body and pleasure points, let alone that of the partner.
Well, one good thing in today’s times of social media is that finally, matters are coming to light. So men, while we will guide you to the act later, here we are, charting out a few mistakes that you need to avoid if you want to give your partner the best orgasm ever.
Mistake # 1: Not listening to your partner
Being attentive to your partner means listening to what they say and making sure you put it to practice. For this, it is imperative to know the difference between two female organs responsible for orgasms: the clitoris and the vagina.
With time, men may know what a clitoris is, but they are yet to master the art of stroking it correctly. A survey indicates that women orgasm in 45% of cases when a man strokes the clit. However, the probability reaches a whopping 95% when women do it themselves.
Pay attention to her moans and movements, feel her vibrations to understand what she enjoys each time you go down on her. Adjust your rhythm accordingly. Another source of pleasure which must not be neglected is the vagina. There are indeed many women who cannot get vaginal orgasm when they are penetrated. However, fingering definitely helps. Take help from your partner and ask them how and what they like.
Mistake # 2: Neglecting personal hygiene
Love can conquer it all, but not body odour or lack of hygiene. This can have a real impact on the pleasure, and even the frequency of sexual intercourse. If you really wish to be desirable, simply keep your privates clean. If your woman likes it clean shaved, ensure you trim the area from time to time.
Mistake # 3: Selective affection
Most men have an unintentional itch; that of either displaying their emotional and romantic side when they want sex, or just during the act, seldom otherwise. STOP! It’s doing you more harm than good; both to your relationship and your sex drive, not that they both are exclusive of each other. Seriously, be consistent in your efforts.
“I know he wants good sex. So he starts sending me lovey-dovey, even cheesy messages since morning. I play along, but deep down I feel I am being used and so I don’t enjoy the moments as much. It keeps playing my mind,” says Mallika.
Introspect, dear men.
Mistake # 4: I know it all!
For the fear of being judged, instead of confessing that they are not comfortable with certain positions, some men prefer to try, thinking that it will come naturally. Now, the mistake that can prevent your partner from reaching the big O is to imagine that making love is self-evident, that there is nothing to learn. Love-making is an art and just like any other form, it needs to be learnt.
So, my friend, if pornography remains your sole reference and preference in terms of sex, you need to up your knowledge game.
Sex is a two-way street. Let’s try and improve our stats.